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Jan 23, 2020 ahana


“Why is this happening to me? It hurts a lot, I hate this state of constant pain in my heart. I do not know what wrong I have done to deserve this, I wish it would just all go away and I can feel peaceful and happy again”.

“I hate my job, but I cannot quit. Everyday I have to force myself to even get out of bed”. These are some of the lamentations, I hear from people who are in distress. None of us want to be unhappy. All of us work towards maintaining that state of mind where we feel that we are happy.

Life is never a bed of roses, it comes intact with the thorns too. Life can be depicted as a spinning wheel that throws up happy and unpleasant situations in our path with equal intensity. We become happy and jubilant when things happen according to our wishes, but are reluctant to accept situations that might cause us distress. We use a lot of methods to distance ourselves from such feelings, collectively called avoidance behaviors, such as avoiding the entire situations/person/objects, getting angry or isolating oneself. This causes a lot of interpersonal conflicts, anxiety, depression or persistent negative thoughts. This makes us feel as though trapped in a situation.

Acceptance and commitment therapy aims at helping people recognize and accept their negative emotions in a completely non-judgemental manner. This essentially involves accepting oneself with both the good and the bad as being an essential part of their whole. It begins with being kind to oneself, accepting the negative feelings without being critical of it and learning self-awareness. It teaches one to face their emotions as they are, without being emotionally attached to it.

It also encourages or helps a person realize the goals they value in their life. After all, life is never easy, and success can never come without hardships. Two things help us in pulling ourselves out of seemingly bad situations,

1. Realizing what is going on within oneself and around oneself
2. Focusing on our goal

This therapy can help an individual to overcome persistent pain or grief or anxiety and come out of depression to achieve meaningful goals in life.
In the philosophical sense, it teaches one to live life fully in spite of the pitfalls and uplifting moments. It put things in perspective forming, helping one to get back on their feet and get the courage to move on telling, “yes I have gone through a lot, but it showed how brave I can be…I know that it is still not over, but now I know that it is okay to feel like this in this situation and that I will always be able to get back on my feet and move on. I am going to be okay”